Love the shift from resistance to ownership. It illustrates the core of my teaching philosophy, a concept I borrowed from Jonathan Edwards: "There is a difference between having a rational judgment that honey is sweet, and having a sense of its sweetness." My goal as a teacher, and it sounds like yours, too, is to stop telling a learner that honey is sweet and watch them taste it for themselves.
Josh, I have a feeling you are one hell of a teacher. I wish I could have sat in on one of your classes. The honey analogy is so apt, but if I may refine it, my goal as his teacher is to help him develop the tools and courage to go try honey and share this joy with the world.
Latham, what a joy it was to read about your experience of unlocking your son's desire for learning. I feel hesistant to tell my 12-year old about your story because there is nothing more that he would love than building a plane! He has been obsessed with planes for several years and we use the Canadian flight training manual as part of our reading and math instruction. We have compromised by supporting him in designing and building RC planes (which works for a smaller budget:). Your son might take pleasure in the projects on Flitetest https://www.flitetest.com/. The company was started by a couple of guys who wanted to inspire young kids from their youth group and it has taken off from there. They create superb instructional videos and you can download plans for free.
Also, if your son is interested in Latin, he might enjoy the Latin/Greek stem resources I had created for my homeschool co-op students (I added a one-month paid comp for you so you can access them in these posts here if you like https://schooloftheunconformed.substack.com/s/home-education.
Thanks for sharing your story and all the best on your learning journey together!
Ruth, Your comment just made my day. As I wrote, I can remember sitting on my couch at 2am with like 12 tabs open flipping through all the articles you'd written about homeschooling. I'm really grateful that you enjoyed this post and that it showed my son in the light I see him.
I will definitely explore Flitetest with him. It may be a little bit until we get the airplane parts to start building, so I've been looking for the right opportunity to keep his excitement and build some momentum. This looks like it could be perfect.
And lastly, the Latin/Greek stem resources is so incredibly generous. Thank you so much. I'm incredibly honored and humbled. I cant say thank you enough. I really appreciate it.
What moved me most (and many parts of this moved me) was the clear foundation of trust established between teacher and student, father and son here. Latham, you are doing John Dewey proud: “ Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself.” How lucky the two of you are to be doing this together, living this life together. I’m so excited for you, for him, for those of us who get to follow along.
Oh my goodness Alissa, what a wonderful complement. I'm really grateful for your support and I love that you pointed out the foundation of trust. I never expected how much that forged trust would carry over into other areas of his life. He's made social/emotional and behavioral leaps and bounds over this year, and I don't think it has much to do with age. He's standing up for himself in ways he never would have. It's amazing.
I'm just now digging into John Dewe's philosophy, starting with "Education and Experience." So much to learn, but I already see it shaping the way we work together.
We to struggled with our son's education. We were told he had a hearing problem at a young age. In reality he just wasn't interested in listening. We were told he was antsy and couldn't pay attention in class. We had him tested, and found out he was gifted, and probably at mensa level intelligence. We talked the school into getting exercise balls to sit on to help relieve extra energy. He never got to sit on one though, because you needed to behave yourself and earn it to do so. Oh, how we would have loved to home school him. We brought his test results to the school thinking that would help. He never was put into a gifted class. Maybe we didn't push hard enough. Maybe we just got tired of trying. He did make it through school, but we often think what he maybe could have done given the opportunity or if we would have been able to home school him. Schooling and education are complicated things that unfortunately we don't have the answers for. I applaud you for your persistence, determination, and guts to buck the system and do it your own way.
Thank you so much for this heartfelt comment. I felt your experience with your son's schools. We begged and pleaded for adaptations like exercise balls, wobbly stools, special reading and writing assists, etc. The hardest part was when we'd get them in the classroom, and he'd refuse to use them. I always suspected it was hard on him to be the only one being offered those tools and that the teachers didn't understand him, but I also empathized with his teachers who had 20+ kids in a classroom and no break.
I'm glad to hear your son made it through school. I know too many friends who didn't, and are still dealing with the repercussions of those experiences both financially and personally. I just couldn't do that to my own kids.
I'm grateful to have you here and I hope this endeavor proves helpful, even if your own son is past school age.
Latham! This was so, so beautiful. So many ups and downs…I felt like I was right there with you. Thank you for taking the time to share your journey with your son. As a parent who wants my kids to love learning and is interested in an alternate path forward, I devoured this story. I’m forwarding this to my husband now!
Thank you Charlie. This piece wouldn't be half of what it became without your guidance and support.
I'm so grateful you forwarded it to Sam. I hope he likes it too. It's been such an amazing experience, not without challenges but still amazing, and I'm excited to have you both follow along.
This is marvelous. I read with some wistfulness, wishing I’d had the vision to do this with my own son. Honestly, though there were years of great struggle, it never occurred to me. What a gift you’ve given each other.
Thank you Julie. It's been a wild ride, but I'm so proud of what we've accomplished. And so excited for what we're planning for this year. The airplane is only one part of that.
You are building the plane and the education that he wants, magister.
As we have discussed, parenting is a huge exercise in humility. I feel the moment I was humble enough to learn from my child is when I truly achieved my adult"hood". I see that happening with you.
I have four amazing adult 'children' in my life who were home educated. All of them go on learning and learning -- now in their 30s -- you have ignited a life time of adventure :)
Sounds like you have done an incredible job with them. I wish my parents had the awareness to try this when I was young, but I don't think we knew anyone who was home educated when I was a kid. I applaud your willingness to start this adventure 30 some years ago. Thank you for sharing and for being here.
Latham, this was exactly what I needed to read right now. I've been a college teacher for 6 years, and one of my greatest struggles and drives has been helping my students rediscover some of their intrinsic motivations. I think I care about this to the extent that I do because teaching makes me think about my daughter--she'll start school in a few years, and I'm so scared that she will come to hate learning because of the school system. I think part of what keeps me going at my job is the hope that if I can figure out something that works for my college students, I will somehow be in a better place to help my daughter if she's ever in a situation like your son. If it's ok, I'd love to share this piece with my students at the start of the semester to help them reflect on what they might want from our time together. And I'm excited to read about your journeys going forward!
Thank you for the wonderful comment Leslie. I wish I had college teachers that outwardly cared as much as you shared here. It took me well into my 30s to regain that motivation and love of learning. It's why I refuse to let me children fall into the same trap.
I'm confident your daughter will have a huge advantage simply having a mother who cares this much. I would LOVE it if you shared this piece with your students. Please let me know what else I can do to help.
This may be the most exciting, inspiring post I've read in my time here on Substack! You rock and I think you and your son are going to rock the education world. Thank you for sharing.
Joyce, your wonderful comment absolutely made me smile. I'm so grateful you're here. And I hope we rock the education world. We've got big dreams...together.
This is wonderful, Latham. I’m so happy that things are working out on this new path of yours. You all are so brave, and I’m sure your efforts will be rewarded. Reading about your child taking control of his own education made me both emotional and extraordinarily happy. There is another way.
Thank you Silvio. I've been busy, happy, and emotional myself throughout this year. I'm confident that at the very least we have a far better relationship than we ever would were it not for this experience.
And I'm grateful to have you along on this project as well.
Rick, you're always so generous! I'm smiling ear to ear reading this. Thank you for all the support as I've been on this journey with my son and as I've launched this project.
I love this, so so much. There's so much potential in every person—and for so many of us, school barely begins to bring it out, or doesn't at all. You captured it, but your son said it all: "it's not fun," because "They tell me what I get to learn." And our culture still mostly expect kids to just do what they're told, suck it up and pretend to be OK with it. No wonder everyone's depressed and on drugs. I sure was. It's a sad story, and there's so much joy and discovery in the path that you and your son are following. Thank for your courage, and for sharing this.
Thank you for all the encouragement Bowen. I couldn't have done this without you guys.
You're so right about expecting kids to suck it up and do what they're told. I remember hating that when I was a kid. But then I was a parent and I suddenly found myself saying, "he doesn't have the perspective to understand what I do." It has been a real learning curve to let him lead, but when I did...well you've seen the results. I hope you continue to enjoy the project as much as I do.
Love the shift from resistance to ownership. It illustrates the core of my teaching philosophy, a concept I borrowed from Jonathan Edwards: "There is a difference between having a rational judgment that honey is sweet, and having a sense of its sweetness." My goal as a teacher, and it sounds like yours, too, is to stop telling a learner that honey is sweet and watch them taste it for themselves.
Josh, I have a feeling you are one hell of a teacher. I wish I could have sat in on one of your classes. The honey analogy is so apt, but if I may refine it, my goal as his teacher is to help him develop the tools and courage to go try honey and share this joy with the world.
Latham, what a joy it was to read about your experience of unlocking your son's desire for learning. I feel hesistant to tell my 12-year old about your story because there is nothing more that he would love than building a plane! He has been obsessed with planes for several years and we use the Canadian flight training manual as part of our reading and math instruction. We have compromised by supporting him in designing and building RC planes (which works for a smaller budget:). Your son might take pleasure in the projects on Flitetest https://www.flitetest.com/. The company was started by a couple of guys who wanted to inspire young kids from their youth group and it has taken off from there. They create superb instructional videos and you can download plans for free.
Also, if your son is interested in Latin, he might enjoy the Latin/Greek stem resources I had created for my homeschool co-op students (I added a one-month paid comp for you so you can access them in these posts here if you like https://schooloftheunconformed.substack.com/s/home-education.
Thanks for sharing your story and all the best on your learning journey together!
Ruth, Your comment just made my day. As I wrote, I can remember sitting on my couch at 2am with like 12 tabs open flipping through all the articles you'd written about homeschooling. I'm really grateful that you enjoyed this post and that it showed my son in the light I see him.
I will definitely explore Flitetest with him. It may be a little bit until we get the airplane parts to start building, so I've been looking for the right opportunity to keep his excitement and build some momentum. This looks like it could be perfect.
And lastly, the Latin/Greek stem resources is so incredibly generous. Thank you so much. I'm incredibly honored and humbled. I cant say thank you enough. I really appreciate it.
Glad to be of help :) Flitetest is definitely a great way to start into flying, as you can explore aerodynamic concepts while building and test flying. This is the perfect starter kit which our son loved https://store.flitetest.com/ez-basix--bundle/?srsltid=AfmBOopcb4Q-c4flm-7mt1CH18uL2hwLA3q6qk8qus604P9gCYn158Rr. It's basic, easy to build, and the instruction videos are great.
Looking forward to following your journey along!
What moved me most (and many parts of this moved me) was the clear foundation of trust established between teacher and student, father and son here. Latham, you are doing John Dewey proud: “ Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself.” How lucky the two of you are to be doing this together, living this life together. I’m so excited for you, for him, for those of us who get to follow along.
Oh my goodness Alissa, what a wonderful complement. I'm really grateful for your support and I love that you pointed out the foundation of trust. I never expected how much that forged trust would carry over into other areas of his life. He's made social/emotional and behavioral leaps and bounds over this year, and I don't think it has much to do with age. He's standing up for himself in ways he never would have. It's amazing.
I'm just now digging into John Dewe's philosophy, starting with "Education and Experience." So much to learn, but I already see it shaping the way we work together.
We to struggled with our son's education. We were told he had a hearing problem at a young age. In reality he just wasn't interested in listening. We were told he was antsy and couldn't pay attention in class. We had him tested, and found out he was gifted, and probably at mensa level intelligence. We talked the school into getting exercise balls to sit on to help relieve extra energy. He never got to sit on one though, because you needed to behave yourself and earn it to do so. Oh, how we would have loved to home school him. We brought his test results to the school thinking that would help. He never was put into a gifted class. Maybe we didn't push hard enough. Maybe we just got tired of trying. He did make it through school, but we often think what he maybe could have done given the opportunity or if we would have been able to home school him. Schooling and education are complicated things that unfortunately we don't have the answers for. I applaud you for your persistence, determination, and guts to buck the system and do it your own way.
Thank you so much for this heartfelt comment. I felt your experience with your son's schools. We begged and pleaded for adaptations like exercise balls, wobbly stools, special reading and writing assists, etc. The hardest part was when we'd get them in the classroom, and he'd refuse to use them. I always suspected it was hard on him to be the only one being offered those tools and that the teachers didn't understand him, but I also empathized with his teachers who had 20+ kids in a classroom and no break.
I'm glad to hear your son made it through school. I know too many friends who didn't, and are still dealing with the repercussions of those experiences both financially and personally. I just couldn't do that to my own kids.
I'm grateful to have you here and I hope this endeavor proves helpful, even if your own son is past school age.
Thank you! I also have a 13 year old girl as well. So far, her education has gone pretty smooth. Fingers crossed.
Man oh man Latham. I want to fly up there right now and do a group hug. Maybe you and your son can fly down and pick me up once you build the plane. 🙏
I know you’ve been keeping your head down—now I understand more of the why. Can’t wait to hear more.
Dee, like I said in my note, we need a big group hug. I'm definitely game to come fly to wherever you are.
I'm grateful for your support. It's been a hell of a journey, and we're only getting started.
Latham! This was so, so beautiful. So many ups and downs…I felt like I was right there with you. Thank you for taking the time to share your journey with your son. As a parent who wants my kids to love learning and is interested in an alternate path forward, I devoured this story. I’m forwarding this to my husband now!
Thank you Charlie. This piece wouldn't be half of what it became without your guidance and support.
I'm so grateful you forwarded it to Sam. I hope he likes it too. It's been such an amazing experience, not without challenges but still amazing, and I'm excited to have you both follow along.
This is marvelous. I read with some wistfulness, wishing I’d had the vision to do this with my own son. Honestly, though there were years of great struggle, it never occurred to me. What a gift you’ve given each other.
Thank you Julie. It's been a wild ride, but I'm so proud of what we've accomplished. And so excited for what we're planning for this year. The airplane is only one part of that.
You are building the plane and the education that he wants, magister.
As we have discussed, parenting is a huge exercise in humility. I feel the moment I was humble enough to learn from my child is when I truly achieved my adult"hood". I see that happening with you.
Can't wait to see the wings on this thing!
Thank you so much Karena. You know your support means the world to me!
I have four amazing adult 'children' in my life who were home educated. All of them go on learning and learning -- now in their 30s -- you have ignited a life time of adventure :)
Sounds like you have done an incredible job with them. I wish my parents had the awareness to try this when I was young, but I don't think we knew anyone who was home educated when I was a kid. I applaud your willingness to start this adventure 30 some years ago. Thank you for sharing and for being here.
Latham, this was exactly what I needed to read right now. I've been a college teacher for 6 years, and one of my greatest struggles and drives has been helping my students rediscover some of their intrinsic motivations. I think I care about this to the extent that I do because teaching makes me think about my daughter--she'll start school in a few years, and I'm so scared that she will come to hate learning because of the school system. I think part of what keeps me going at my job is the hope that if I can figure out something that works for my college students, I will somehow be in a better place to help my daughter if she's ever in a situation like your son. If it's ok, I'd love to share this piece with my students at the start of the semester to help them reflect on what they might want from our time together. And I'm excited to read about your journeys going forward!
Thank you for the wonderful comment Leslie. I wish I had college teachers that outwardly cared as much as you shared here. It took me well into my 30s to regain that motivation and love of learning. It's why I refuse to let me children fall into the same trap.
I'm confident your daughter will have a huge advantage simply having a mother who cares this much. I would LOVE it if you shared this piece with your students. Please let me know what else I can do to help.
I'm grateful you're here.
Wonderfully vulnerable and riveting story. Awesome you were able to unlock what was missing for your son. Can't wait to read more.
Thank you for the kind words and the support David. As a fellow Dad and one I admire for your dedication to your family, that means a lot.
Such a touching post! Well done. Looking forward to reading more.
Thank you Adia. I'm excited for what is to come. And grateful to have you here.
This may be the most exciting, inspiring post I've read in my time here on Substack! You rock and I think you and your son are going to rock the education world. Thank you for sharing.
Joyce, your wonderful comment absolutely made me smile. I'm so grateful you're here. And I hope we rock the education world. We've got big dreams...together.
I will follow your journey with great interest.
I would have to agree about just how inspirational this entire piece is.
This is wonderful, Latham. I’m so happy that things are working out on this new path of yours. You all are so brave, and I’m sure your efforts will be rewarded. Reading about your child taking control of his own education made me both emotional and extraordinarily happy. There is another way.
Thank you Silvio. I've been busy, happy, and emotional myself throughout this year. I'm confident that at the very least we have a far better relationship than we ever would were it not for this experience.
And I'm grateful to have you along on this project as well.
It's your own love of learning that shines through in this story Latham. That is a gift, not just to your son, but to the rest of us.
Rick, you're always so generous! I'm smiling ear to ear reading this. Thank you for all the support as I've been on this journey with my son and as I've launched this project.
I love this, so so much. There's so much potential in every person—and for so many of us, school barely begins to bring it out, or doesn't at all. You captured it, but your son said it all: "it's not fun," because "They tell me what I get to learn." And our culture still mostly expect kids to just do what they're told, suck it up and pretend to be OK with it. No wonder everyone's depressed and on drugs. I sure was. It's a sad story, and there's so much joy and discovery in the path that you and your son are following. Thank for your courage, and for sharing this.
Thank you for all the encouragement Bowen. I couldn't have done this without you guys.
You're so right about expecting kids to suck it up and do what they're told. I remember hating that when I was a kid. But then I was a parent and I suddenly found myself saying, "he doesn't have the perspective to understand what I do." It has been a real learning curve to let him lead, but when I did...well you've seen the results. I hope you continue to enjoy the project as much as I do.